In my last trip home I learned something very interesting, which made me think why neither my grandpa nor my dad had ever taught me this before. Could it be that it’s becoming too politically incorrect? Maybe they didn’t think about it when doing it and thus never internalized it or realized it could be a valuable lesson. Or maybe in their time things were different (in my country feminism was marginal at best until the late 1980’s or early 1990’s) and they don’t see the importance. But most probably is that my mom, and my grandpa’s wife both start saying how wrong it is and that I should never do it. No matter that it worked on them and they ended up having very solid marriages. What am I speaking about? Well at different points during my visit I learned about my grandpa and my dad using aspects of game and the influence it had on my mom and my grandpa’s wife despite their telling me I should never do that to a girl.
First of to my grandpa. My grandma died when my mom was still young and I understand he had quite a fun bachelor life during what would have been his late 40’s until his 60’s. He re-married after all his children had married and moved out of his house. Now the interesting information came when having dinner and my grandpa’s wife (I think about 15 years younger than him) started telling stories of when they were going out. One such story started with the fact that she knew from her friends that my grandpa went out with several women, which increased her interest. One day, she called my grandpa pretending to be another woman trying to go on a date with him. My grandpa didn’t flinch and agreed to going on the date with this other woman. When confronted about it my grandpa just laughed. What happened afterwards? Did she broke up on him? No, she married him. I realized that my grandpa didn’t have oneitis and that the lure of catching a high value man made his future wife even more interested in him. I guess that dating in your 60’s (or 40’s-50’s for her) is not so much about the alpha sex but the high value of my grandpa and the fact that other women were interested in him and that he had options was still very important.
A few days later while in the car with my dad I learned why he gave my mom the nickname he has always called her. Apparently when they met he gave her the nickname and told her that that was the nickname he gave all his girlfriends so he wouldn’t call them the wrong name. I don’t know if he actually had all this other girlfriends or was just messing with my mom, but, again, it worked.
In the first case it was my grandpa’s wife telling the story while laughing and telling me how bad my grandpa was. In the second case my mom started laughing and told me never to do this. A few months ago I would have listened to their words, but both their laugh and the fact that they ended up with them now speaks much louder to me. I just wish they would share more of their game tricks with me.