Gaming history in my family

In my last trip home I learned something very interesting, which made me think why neither my grandpa nor my dad had ever taught me this before. Could it be that it’s becoming too politically incorrect? Maybe they didn’t think about it when doing it and thus never internalized it or realized it could be a valuable lesson. Or maybe in their time things were different (in my country feminism was marginal at best until the late 1980’s or early 1990’s) and they don’t see the importance. But most probably is that my mom, and my grandpa’s wife both start saying how wrong it is and that I should never do it. No matter that it worked on them and they ended up having very solid marriages. What am I speaking about? Well at different points during my visit I learned about my grandpa and my dad using aspects of game and the influence it had on my mom and my grandpa’s wife despite their telling me I should never do that to a girl.

First of to my grandpa. My grandma died when my mom was still young and I understand he had quite a fun bachelor life during what would have been his late 40’s until his 60’s. He re-married after all his children had married and moved out of his house. Now the interesting information came when having dinner and my grandpa’s wife (I think about 15 years younger than him) started telling stories of when they were going out. One such story started with the fact that she knew from her friends that my grandpa went out with several women, which increased her interest. One day, she called my grandpa pretending to be another woman trying to go on a date with him. My grandpa didn’t flinch and agreed to going on the date with this other woman. When confronted about it my grandpa just laughed. What happened afterwards? Did she broke up on him? No, she married him. I realized that my grandpa didn’t have oneitis and that the lure of catching a high value man made his future wife even more interested in him. I guess that dating in your 60’s (or 40’s-50’s for her) is not so much about the alpha sex but the high value of my grandpa and the fact that other women were interested in him and that he had options was still very important.

A few days later while in the car with my dad I learned why he gave my mom the nickname he has always called her. Apparently when they met he gave her the nickname and told her that that was the nickname he gave all his girlfriends so he wouldn’t call them the wrong name. I don’t know if he actually had all this other girlfriends or was just messing with my mom, but, again, it worked.

In the first case it was my grandpa’s wife telling the story while laughing and telling me how bad my grandpa was. In the second case my mom started laughing and told me never to do this. A few months ago I would have listened to their words, but both their laugh and the fact that they ended up with them now speaks much louder to me. I just wish they would share more of their game tricks with me.


The Matrix in sports and men’s conditioning

I am a big fan of football. Even though I live in europe and when I say football most people think about soccer, and try to correct me, for me football is usually American football. Unfortunately being on the other side of the pond I rarely can see the matches live. Instead I go to the NFL webpage and watch highlights.

Lately, every time I want to watch a highlight I see a commercial from a jewelry ,Kay I think, showing that if you ever want to receive a kiss you need to be spending money buying some some gold, or whatever, to your girlfriend/wife. Dalrock had already posted about the invasion of feminism into the NFL, but as a recent discoverer of the Matrix it still surprises me that when you are trying to see why your favorite team lost so badly you are bombarded worse than Israel under rocket fire with messages about how you better make up for this moment of egoism if you ever want to get the intimacy of your lady back.

This is not a new theme, I have seen it in other sports, usually the commercial goes like this: you are watching your favorite team, your girlfriend/wife starts complaining, eventually she gets mad, and you have to “make up for it” by buying whatever product/service/vacation plan is being announced. Sometimes it’s a bit more subtle like the commercials about jewelry in videos whose viewers are mainly male.

As a previously blind man who only recently started seeing I don’t feel I have the wisdom to discuss this topic as deeply as more experienced writers would, but it doesn’t mean I’m not amazed when I see the Matrix all around me, even in sports, and I wonder how many guys fall for this because they believe that it is the only way a girl will ever like them. But I think I understand how many of them would think so because of a story from my childhood:

I was ten or eleven years old, and there was a girl 8 or 9 that was my “girlfriend”. What did this mean? I have no idea, but I remember I enjoyed being with this girl because she treated me different than all the other boys, though I hated the fact that she called me the Spanish equivalent of “hubby”. I had never done anything for this girl, but when my mom found out about her, she started buying little presents for her that I was supposed to give to her when I say her. Of course all the moms involved in the activity I met this girl from (Bible study, btw) thought it was super cute (probably aided by the fact that this made highly embarrassed) and kept pushing for us to be together. The girl maybe had a better idea than I about what was happening but probably not too much. However, when I look back at this time in my life I see how we both, but specially me, got conditioned to believe that jewels and gifts bought a woman’s attention (though when I think about it initially I had done nothing of the sort), and it took another fifteen or so years to finally get rid of this conditioning (update, for more on conditioning by moms check out this great post by the Private Man I just found).

Will a gay man marry your girlfriend?

It seems WordPress does not support videos from this website, but you can check it here:

Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends

This is a post I have been popping up in facebook from a wide variety of friends, from east to west, from north to south (though all fairly westernized). I don’t think it’s necessary to stress how beta this behavior would be and how it can affect men. After seeing this it doesn’t surprise me that everyday it’s harder to tell apart a gay man from a straight one (I’m speaking to you hipsters). I would leave the deeper analysis of the issue to more experienced ones such as Rollo or Roosh.

What shocked me, though was the amount of guys that promote, like, or comment the video as if it held some kind of truth. No! I should not learn to make a mother fucking quiche! And honestly, I’ve never met a girl who thought it was important for her man to know the difference between hummus and whatever the other thing was. But what’s more important, who wants to be the shoulder a girl complains to? You want to be the guy she complains about, and it surprises me that many of these guys having been on the receiving end of girl verbal gangbang without getting any real action still think it is the right strategy and will try it again with the next girl. And the worst part, when I’ve tried addressing this situation with some friends they are so conditioned that they might even get some sort of reassurance by telling themselves that this means they are somehow better than the guy the girl is complaining about. I used to be like that, but I sure wish more men would see the light: even if gay men will marry your girlfriends it might mean more free women for you.